The stress of trying to conform, to be accepted, the effort of masking exhausts them, the buildup of stress hormones throughout the day resulting in delayed effect when they get home. Their unsupported needs creating frustration, confusion and anxiety. The punitive punishments for simply for being themselves. The sensory overload, overwhelming environments, the hurtful comments and behaviours of others. The feelings expressed during meltdowns or shutdowns. The stigma associated with their behaviours viewed socially unacceptable as they try to regulate their emotions. All impact on their mental health and well being.
Their families too under the strain begin to fracture and break; the knowledge that their diagnosis of ASC is used to justify their child or children being denied their human rights of education, health, care and potentially their family.
Despite knowledge of the potential breakdown of the family, support is denied for so many reasons and rational provided to do so as blame is to redirected back to parent.
Eventually, worst case scenario can become the reality; young children and adults taken, removed, sometimes younger siblings under the guise of safeguarding risks and via false accusations, as the children self-harm, attempt suicide, SEN VCB escalating beyond manageable levels becoming too much for all involved, attributed in part to the many systematic failings, lack of support leading to family breakdown mean the professionals have no choice but to do so. This could be drastically reduced if support and appropriate intervention were implemented earlier, but this is not the case.
Thus the cycle continues with children and young adults removed from their families, institutionalised, struggling to cope, experiencing abuse of power dynamics, trapped in a system that is failing, destroying life opportunities.
Even when you leave these institutions, your freedom to be all you can be, to a have the life worth living, reaching your potential gets lost and your life experiences used in a game of power dynamics; our lived experiences used by professionals to justify their claims that we are a risk to your child if we become pregnant.
Employment opportunities are reduced because of the behaviours used to self-regulate whilst trying to cope in a system that fails so many children and families. The missed opportunities to reach our potential because the support, reasonable adjustments and equipment that could have improved not only our quality of life but help us reach our full potential, yet the support we as individuals, and our family’s needed was never provided and still isn’t.
Parental diagnosis is the catalyst, the justifiable reason; the child is lost as the focus is on the parent, the diagnosis, the weaknesses perceived or real risks borne from being in care in residential settings and ATU’s and other psychiatrist institutions. The resulting mental health issues and perceived maladaptive coping systems used to self-regulate as children grew and developed unsupported, needs unmet and the many systematic failings and exclusion from society. What is rarely acknowledged is that the systematic failings took the young child, adult down this route.
These continue today with the support of safeguarding tick lists used by social services and Chancers FII flagship used by professionals in all sectors to falsely accuse and deny support which eventually contributes if not causes family breakdown, especially with the other stress factors experienced by the family as a whole in their efforts to help their child(ren).